He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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