I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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