If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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