Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
