Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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