I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
