in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
