it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
