why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
