My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
