It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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