So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
