I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.