This girl is more easily done than said...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
