when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
