Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
