I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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