Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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