how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
