How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
