Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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