youre lurking in front of me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
All the doctor said was why
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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