She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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