I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
