I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
