Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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