Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
