All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
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I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think people are normalizing furries
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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