my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
its liver damage thursday
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