she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
