I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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