she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize