giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
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I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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