I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize