His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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