is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
