if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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