If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
