it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
