Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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