U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize