let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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