wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
