I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
