i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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