11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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