Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
