i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
