But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
