He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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