Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
