What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
