Me too!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
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So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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