you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
