i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
