im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
