I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
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He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
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I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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